Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Road

The Road is a great movie where a father educates & protects his son. The father raises him to be a man in a post-apocalyptic world as they head south to the coast. It's a great film because the father is teaching his son about humanity & about survival but we see that these two things are often at cross-purposes. Many times they have to allow something awful to happen in order to survive. The father covers his son's ears at one point but we hear what is happening. As their journey continues the son ends up having to remind the father of his humanity. Even though he's still a young boy (he plays with a Wetworks action figure & has crayons) he is mature enough to not only recognize when his father might indulge in self-pity but advises against it.

The man is a father in the most basic & primal way. Despite all the hardships they endure, he still has tender moments with his son, things we take for granted now, like having a meal or even grooming. His son is his only reason for living & he is preparing his son for the day when he won't be around. The father will do anything for his son even going against his own survival instincts in order to follow through on the lessons he taught his son. He also does everything in his power to protect his son as he tells him "I will kill anyone who touches you. Because that's my job." He is the father we should all aspire to be.

My father did not raise me. He worked long hours to support us. While I appreciate the hard work he did & all he provided, he could have been a better father. It would not have cost extra money or extra time. While people may joke about "quality time" it does make a difference. My father could have had dinner with his kids, instead he chose to eat alone.

I’m too old now to have kids, I do not have the energy to be a good father. I would end up being too tired like my father & I do not want to be a bad father like he was.  Selfish girls try to get pregnant when they are older without thinking about the babies future.

Newborns require a lot of energy; you have to wake up in the middle of the night. You don't get much sleep. Toddlers require a lot of energy too; you have to watch them all the time. Raising children is difficult & time-consuming. You have to repeat yourself over & over so that they learn. The work never stops. Older parents admit that it's better to be a younger parent.

Sure you can hire a nanny or babysitter but then you aren't raising your child. I would be too tired to do many things that are necessary. This continues until they are 20. If I had a kid tomorrow, I would be in my mid-60s by then. I would probably die of old age before they even get married.

Boys & girls have "daddy issues" because dads are important, a mother is not enough. A father can't just let the mother raise the children. He needs to be involved in the raising of his children. My father would sometimes go to the store to get bread & sometimes he would take one of us. But he didn't talk to us or give us advice. He bought us candy. He thought that was enough. He was wrong. He turned into beta bux, just providing money & not being a father. Instead I was raised by my mother to be a "nice guy" gentleman. You can't be too tired to raise your children or the mother will do what they do, raise beta males.

A kid needs both parents. 1 is not enough. I was raised to be a beta male by my mother & ended up a failure. My older brother married 1 girl & they both abandoned that son she raised. Then he let a single mom move in with him & now they have an open relationship where he bangs some ancient woman. My older sister married 1 man who was my dad's age & then had 2 kids with some other man who is also my dad's age.

Another reason it's too late for me is that men's sperm goes bad. Men make the mistake of thinking that celebrities who have children later in life are representative of all men. They aren't, they use their money to get the best fertility doctors. Men have a biological clock too. A lot of things can go wrong with an older father.

"Autism rates were 66 percent higher among children born to dads over 50 years of age than among those born to dads in their 20s. Autism rates were 28 percent higher when dads were in their 40s versus 20s....Autism rates rose still higher when both parents were older, in line with what one would expect if each parent’s age contributed to risk....Autism rates also rose with widening gaps between two parents’ ages. These rates were highest when dads were between 35 and 44 years old and their partners were 10 or more years younger....genetic mutations in sperm increase with a man’s age and that these mutations can contribute to the development of autism."

"The longer the man waits to have children the greater the chance of having a child with Noonan syndrome."

"those whose fathers were aged 35 years or older at the time of their birth were at 63 percent higher risk of hematologic malignancies"

"Older men are more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia"

There is also the question of money. You need time to amass wealth to take care of your children. Trying to save money for your child's future at such a late age will be insanely difficult & guarantee that you will never retire.

You don't have all the time in the world to accomplish your goals. Time is the fire in which we burn.


  1. I am in similar circumstances to yours. Fortunately, to eschew never-experienced fatherhood is not difficult, "What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over." As an aside, a nice quote from Delmore Schwartz at the end. Thanks, now I have someone new to read.

    1. - a treat for my mind